A good umbrella is better than a good vagina tickle

I don't know about you all, but I have been treading around the streets in the rain using nothing short of the worlds worst umbrella.
It is broken in several places, it keeps nothing dry, bar the 'above shoulders' region, it turns inside out and it is flimsy beyond belief. 

I used to have two of the worlds most beautiful umbrellas, until I lost them both (damn public transport, it's my umbrella forgetting weakness).

I honestly think that nothing looks or feels better than a nice sterdy umbrella that keeps you dry and clean, whatever the rain and wind strength.

So dear gentlemen, next time you are looking for a way into my heart, you know it's only an umbrella away.

This was necessary, sorry.

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