Never get in a fight with a bear

On my walk to tafe this morning, I lost my favourite jumper.

It was so cool, it had Mickey Mouse on the front.

I was walking along the road near my house to the bus when all of a sudden a bear came out of the bushes and asked for my lunch.

I said I don't have any lunch.

He said, you will then have to answer three questions and then I will let you pass.

I said, okay.

He asked what the square root of 164 was.

Because I am secretly a genious in my spare time, I knew instantly that the answer was 12.8062485.

He looked disappointed and then asked what meal you could make if you mixed milk and honey.

Because I am a wizz in the kitchen, I said wheatbix.

He looked more disappointed and then asked what the quickest bus route to Redland Bay is.

I replied, don't catch the bus.. catch the train.

With this he became infuriated and lunged towards me.

I swiftly side stepped out of the way and began to run.

He chased after me, gaining speed quickly.  I was lucky to be so athletic and was able to outrun him, but not before he managed to cling onto my jumper that was hanging slightly out of my bag.

Unwilling to let him win my jumper so quickly, I turned and we began to fight.

We both realised that this would be a fight to the death.

We soon became tired and the bear began to slow down, I took advantage of this brief moment and took out my knife that I keep in my sock and plunged it deep into his heart.

Wanting to flee from the situation as quickly as possible, I began to run, leaving the remaining shreds of my jumper behind.

And that, kind sirs, was how I lost my favourite jumper.