That's it

Last night, I got the one thing that I have wanted more than anything for the past year.
The thing that is often the bringer of tears and anxiety and happiness and great memories. 

It’s not that it wasn’t there before, but I think I was just so blindsided by my own insecurities that I always doubted the possibility that it was actually there.

I think I assumed that this was an easy decision for all others involved but it was blatantly obvious last night that it was the hardest decision of all.
I was wrong.  I’ve always been wrong.
If I could change a million things, I would in a heartbeat.

I wish I could build a time machine and go back to the beginning for just a few more fleeting seconds of the happiness I felt.
But I can’t.
(I’m referring to the child I murdered last night).

After having this realisation, I can honestly now say, I am content.
Sad.. but still content.

I haven't really been wanting to post any photographs, because I want to post some of my own instead of ones that other people have taken, so here I go with yet another video, which I suggest you watch.

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