December is the Devil

Lately (the past 6 months) I have been feeling like I have to monitor what goes on my blog.

It sucks.

I feel like I can’t say certain things, or I can’t mention particular subjects due to people drawing wrong conclusions and then judging how they think is appropriate – which is not always accurate.

Over the past year (not so much anymore, but there was a couple of months around June), so many people

have been saying to me ‘oh, I read your blog’, even strangers (Tom Mundey) and I think that made me feel like I had to be really funny, or I had to post certain things.. which in the end made my blog suck (com’on guys, we all know it’s true), it’s not like it was back in its prime days of January – April.

But then I guess.. neither am I.

Maybe things were better then because I was happier, or because it was warmer and sunnier or maybe I was just smiling more and having better times.

I guess what I am trying to say is.. Fuck what people think.
I know I’m annoying and I know I tell pointless stories and I know that I’m always in your face, but it makes me happy and I would hope that it would make you happy too.. but if not, I’m not forcing you to stay and read.

I have for so long been trying to be what other people want me to be (or at least what I think they want me to be) that I have completely lost sight of myself. I feel like I’m always trying to please everyone and in doing this it’s making myself unhappy.