I have many-a thoughts circulating my head right now, which I am not entirely sure how to put onto paper.
So let’s start at the basics – my weekend.
On Saturday Jacob and I went to the Ekka (I’m getting film developed today so I will post some photo’s later tonight or tomorrow along with a great ‘ekka speech’ as I know how you love them oh so much) which was immensely fun and I don’t think I stopped smiling at all – apart from when we went to show bag ally.
Then Sunday night I went to the new Clubhouse with a gal pal of mine which was not bad, but I think the venue made it hard to uphold its former clubhouse glory..
Once we were done at clubhouse we followed onto Rics for some ultimate groove time until 4am when finally I thought ‘fuck this, I’m not waiting for Jacob to be home, I’m just going to walk and wait for him to get home whilst I sleep outside’ to find he was already at home tucked up in bed and I could have in fact left earlier.
On Sunday after a horrible night’s sleep that was not nearly long enough, I was dropped in the valley and I went to see the new VG Valley store (VVG) which looks AMAZING (seriously guys, you have done the BEST job) anyway, I hung around there for a couple of hours before going home and seeing the Fam before my Dad goes to the UK (he left last night).
It’s been a pretty intense few days with not much sleep at all.
I think emotions were defiantly starting to run higher than usual last night when as I feel I try my best to be great and get shit all in return.
It was also these thoughts last night that have been carried on unexpectedly into this morning that get me wondering if it really is worth it anymore.
Is the effort as good as the reward? Sometimes I think not.
I’d like to feel – from anyone – like I’m not being taken advantage of and as though I am an important part in people’s lives and if I were gone, they would miss me and like I’m not just someone who is constantly texting or calling or fb-ing when they really want to just be left alone because truth be told, that’s pretty much all I’m getting at the moment.
So here is what I say in a problem solving way – I couldn’t be bothered anymore.
I think I will say goodbye to Facebook and goodbye to my phone as all it brings is tears.