These men do not exist

Last night I went to see Eclipse with Chloe.

Not a bad movie.. the acting was considerably better, and unlike the previous two movies, it wasn’t awkward to watch when Kristen Stewart was talking.

There were a few things however that bugged me a wee bit:

ROBERT PATTINSON’S TEETH ARE NOT CENTRED! HE HAS THREE FRONT TEETH. When they were doing close up shots of his face (which was 90% of the movie) it was all I could look at.

Jacob had his shirt off the entire movie, PLUS he was wearing really gross pants and running shoes, which didn’t add to his looks (I preferred him with long hair).

The final thing that I didn’t really think about until after the movie, was even if there were no vampires and wearwolves and other mythical creatures, this story is completely false. What men really act like that? I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice, infact it would be lovely, I’m just saying it’s a load of crap.

How many men would say ‘stop taking your clothes off, it’s too dangerous’?

How many men would forgo battle or forgo doing something that they enjoyed just so they can spend time with you, and make sure you are okay?

I think I have met my fair share of men in the past – and I don’t think that any of them have come remotely close to either Edward or Jacob. I must unintentionally attract all the worlds arseholes.*

What is sadder too is that most women believe there are these perfect men out there who will one day come along and whisk us off our feet.

With every new boyfriend comes hope that he will be different or he will be charming like no other man before and you will elope into the hills.

These men don’t exist. Or if they do, there is 0.02% in the world.

Romantic movies like these are made because they sell. Every (most) woman (and the occasional gay man) watch them in hope that a dreamy man like this is still out there waiting for them.

*Jerkface not included